Tara Laba, Deanna Momtchilov, and Julia Allen

Birth Roots Doula Collective Inc.

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Sonia's Obituary

Sonia Linda Lavictoire
September 17, 1972- January 1, 2006

Sonia passed away suddenly on January 1^st as a result of a tragic car accident.  She leaves her husband Bairn Mooney and her beautiful children Everett and Oliver, ages 11 and 9.  She is survived by her parents Louise and Andre Lavictoire, brother Simon, his wife Michelle, nephew Samuel, parents-in law Gail and Walter Mooney and Brian Holtslag, as well as a large circle of loving friends from near and far.  She was very close with her family and friends, and we are all stunned and devastated by her tragic death.

Sonia was born in Ottawa and attended both Ottawa and McGill University after high school. She met Bairn at McGill where they began their family and their life together and went on to wed in Jamaica. Sonia and Bairn settled in their home near Libau in 1999. They loved their rural life, and Everett and Oliver thrived in this environment.  Sonia was a loving and devoted mother to her children, and loved her time spent in hockey rinks, on dirt bikes, and hanging out with her boys.  She was known to all as generous with her laughter, enthusiasm, and praise. 

In 1998, Sonia began working as a residential care provider for individuals with mental disabilities at the Association for Community Living in Selkirk.  Over the years, she welcomed the people she cared for into her family and into her heart. 

Her lifelong passion was to assist women in childbirth.  Sonia was a powerful advocate for women, and had a particular interest in rural women.  She was a devoted doula and childbirth educator, and was studying to become a midwife through correspondence studies and an internship in Jamaica in 2000.  She was a partner in Birth Roots Doula Collective Inc. and was instrumental in the growth of this business.  She never hesitated to lend a hand, and was a La Leche’ League Leader and active volunteer in the childbirth community.  Over the 8 years she was involved in childbirth, hundreds of babies and parents were blessed by her warm and loving assistance in pregnancy, birth and postpartum. 

Sonia was also known and loved as a volunteer in the kitchen at the Winnipeg Folk Festival, and as a star of the campground, where she and Bairn camped every year with a regular group of friends.  For the first time this past year, Everett and Oliver joined them in the campground as well, and followed in their mother’s footsteps as the life of the party by capturing everyone’s hearts.

Sonia was an incredible person and we are grateful for the time we had with her. 

Services at Gilbart’s Funeral Chapel in Selkirk at 3:00 pm on Friday, January 6, 2006. Followed by a luncheon at the legion.

Sonia’s friends have established a trust fund for her children’s education.  Her family would also like to honour Sonia’s commitment to education and support for childbearing women by establishing a fund to be used for low-income mothers.  In lieu of flowers, please consider making a donation either to the Everett and Oliver Lavictoire Trust, or to the Sonia Lavictoire Memorial Trust at any branch of the Assiniboine Credit Union.

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RCMP Press Release

FATAL ACCIDENT IN RM OF ST CLEMENTS

RM of St Clements, MB
January 1, 2006

On January 1, 2006, Selkirk RCMP received a report of a single vehicle accident on road 81 N in the Rural Municipality of St Clements, MB.  A westbound mini van drove off the road and into the south ditch where it struck several trees.  The lone occupant was thrown from the vehicle and into the ditch nearby.  Sonia Lavictoire (33) of the RM of St Clements, MB was transported by ambulance to Selkirk General Hospital where she was pronounced deceased.  Road conditions were snow packed and slippery at the time of the accident.  Alcohol is not believed to have been a contributing factor in this accident.

Investigation continues.

Contact:  Cpl. Chris Ballard
               1-204-983-8497
 

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Memories of Sonia

If you have a memory or photo of Sonia that you would like to share, please send it to us at info@birthrootsdoulas.com and we will post it here.

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Dearest Tara, Deanna, Julia… Birth Roots doulas:

You and Sonia's family have been in the forefront of my thoughts
since hearing the devastating news yesterday.

Tonight as I was cleaning my office and pouring through mounds of
papers …  I turned over yet another pile…unbelievably by chance...
came across a clipping from the Winnipeg Free Press dated Tuesday
April 12th 2005… "Doulas Mother the Mother".
 
There was Sonia's beautiful smiling face with her arms around her
clients… it is unfathomable that she is gone.

Sonia was truly lovely, with an amazing passion for women, babies
and birth.
I was blessed to have known her.

I know you will be incredible doulas for each other and her family
in the days to come..
Hugs to you all…
So very sadly,
Jalana

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Sonia was a woman of joy. She had the warmest smile. The deepest love. She had such a positive, hopeful outlook on life. She made you feel cared for the moment you were in her presence. She made you feel as if all was possible. I only knew Sonia within childbirth settings. She was a wonderful doula. She went above and beyond... I always wondered how she could give so much to others and still have enough for herself and her family. Yet every person I knew who knew Sonia more always, without being asked, recognized what an amazing mom she was and how loving her relationship was with her husband. She had energy like a bubbles that overflow from a champaign bottle.

Andy and I spent a few nights with Sonia in Halifax at a midwifery conference in July 2004. I always wanted to know her more.

This is so sad to hear of her passing.

Beckie Wood

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My deepest sympathy to Bairn, Everett and Oliver.  I
am so sorry to her parents.  She taught me my
Childbirth Education Classes and I felt an instant
connection to her through her humour- She was a funny,
warm, and inspiring lady. 
With deepest sympathy,
-Mindy W. Pajic-

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This is a picture of Sonia at Paul'hiver's birth. She was a wonderful doula.  I can't believe how blessed I was at having my doula mentor BE my doula.
I miss her too.
love Noelle
 

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Sonia generated a resounding sense of spirit as soon as she entered a room,
and had the incredible ability of making one feel immediately at ease.

She had a very warm, special soul. This could be felt the instant you met
her. This coupled with Sonia's passion and dedication for her profession
made her such a unique person, my husband and I are both touched that we had
the brief opportunity for Sonia to be part of our pregnancy. She was an
integral part of my health and happiness.

We will miss her glowing smile and bright eyes. Our deepest sympathies to
her children, and her family.

Regards,
Michelle Monnin

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I am so sad for the loss of Sonia in this world - my heart is breaking for her boys, and her family, and all of you who loved her and whose lives she touched. She was a giving spirit with a happy heart. My thoughts and prayers are with you all, may God bless and keep you all, Lori Smelski

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I am so sorry to hear about your loss.  I spoke to Sonia a couple of times

and even in just those few conversations I could tell she was a very special
person.  I can't imagine what everyone that knew her is going through. 

You are all in my prayers,
Rachel
 

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Please find attached a photo of Sonia and Tami. Sonia was our Doula for the birth of our daughter Gabrielle in June of 2004.  Sonia was also to be the Doula for our next baby due in March 2006.
Joanne Chateau

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We are so saddened by this news. Sonia was a cheerful, funny, warm, wise, and loving person. I was looking forward to seeing her name added to the list of other wonderful midwives in our province. She will be missed.

Warm regards,
Linda Romphf

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Mario and I, Helen, had Sonia as our Doula. 
We heard the tragic news yesterday and are greatly saddened by this huge loss.  Sonia was an invaluable support to Mario and I.  We have only the kindest of thoughts where she is concerned and our hearts go out to her family and her friends.  We imagine it will be impossible to replace her.  Words cannot describe how wonderful she was.  From the moment we met her to all the support she gave us at the hospital.  There must be a special place in heaven for someone as dear as Sonia.

Our thoughts are with you.
 

Helen, Mario & our son, Diego
 

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My deepest sympathy goes out to all of Sonia's friends and family.  What a tragic loss, she touched the lives of so many, what a generous and loving spirit.  I send my love and prayers to all who knew and loved her.  You are in my thoughts, Jennifer McRae-King

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I think the most helpful thing that someone told me at my dad’s funeral was that life would eventually get easier again and that I would not always feel as horrible as I felt that day. And it was true. You can never forget the amazing people that have touched your life, but the day comes when it no longer hurts just to breathe. In the meantime, I pray that you will receive the peace and comfort you need to go on.

Brenda Peters-Watral

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My heart is broken for those she's left behind.  We had the privilege of Sonia attending our birth in August of 2005. We were new to Manitoba, and she made us feel confident and comfortable about the birth process.  She warmly shared funny stories of being a new mom in a new city, she had told me she invited in every salesman who came knocking, and tried to keep them there as long as possible for the company!!  She shared hilarious stories of her husband, but her love for him and their children was evident in every word.  She patiently heard my concerns about breastfeeding, and lovingly advised and guided us to success.  When she left at end of our last post-partum visit, she commented she looked forward to going through our next birth with us.  I never stopped to imagine one without her.  She was a natural, beautiful part of our daughters arrival, and we will miss her terribly.  Our deepest sympathy to her family, and the Birth Roots family.  Julie Jiggins

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My thoughts about Sonia are echoed by each of the other ones I've heard in the past few days. She was such a wonderful, caring, sweet person who everyone loved. She made each person she had contact with feel special and cared for. I was not very close with Sonia, but each time we met or spoke I would feel like I had spent time with someone who I would like to get to know much better. Her sense of humour was what jumps out at me the most, and her beautiful, radiant smile.... always present, always warm and genuine. She made people feel good about being who they were, and put a positive perspective on everything. She never failed to make me laugh.
 

She so often spoke of her boys and her husband, and I admire her way of parenting. She encouraged her boys to live life to the fullest and was able to allow them the freedom to do it.
 

I remember one day during a meteor shower, we were talking and she was planning to wake Oliver and Everett at around 2:00a.m. to go outside to lay on a blanket in a field and see the night sky and the meteors. Her boys were about the same ages as my two kids (they were around 5 & 7 at the time, I think), and I remember my first thought was, 'Are you crazy?? WAKE them up? They won't even know what they missed." But that was Sonia, showing her boys the world around them, wanting them to experience all that they could. I went home thinking about it and realized that she wasn't crazy, she was an awesome mom!  I learned something similar from her each time we spoke.
 

With much love and sincere best wishes for healing during this very difficult time ~ Cindy

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I'm so sorry.
Allison Graham Myers

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Dear Julia, Tara, Deanna and all of the Manitoba Birth Community,

I am so sorry to hear of this tragedy.  I know how much you loved her
and am praying for all of you in this sad time.  I only knew Sonia on email but I was absolutely horrified to hear of her death.  She was an important contribution to humanizing childbirth in Canada.  My sincere condolences to her friends and family.  I can see her now holding an armload of babies in Heaven.  Gloria Lemay

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An article about Sonia from the Winnipeg Free Press, Tuesday April 12, 2005.

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I am sending this email with the picture of Sonia's smiling face on my
mind and on my computer and still cannot believe she is gone.  What an
incredible shock and loss.
My memories of Sonia are what the pictures and other's comments portray
........ beauty, love, passion, vision, dedication, and commitment. 
Thomas Edison said, " I did not have my mother very long, but in that
length of time she cast over me an influence which has lasted all of my
life....." I am sure this is what her children will one day be able to
say as well as those that knew and loved her. My sincere condolences to
all,

Kathie Lindstrom

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My husband and I were blessed to have Sonia in our lives.  She was our doula for the birth of our daughter, Ava Dec.9/04. Sonia shared so much of herself
and we are forever grateful that she helped bring our daughter into our
lives ever so gently. Every day I kiss my little girl's feet I think of
Sonia.  She shared a loving ritual she held with Oliver and Everett with us.
Sonia would blow air threw their toes as they laid next to her on the couch.
We will miss you, Sonia and all that we were looking forward to as you as
our midwife.

Dr. Zsolt Egey-Samu
 

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My husband and I are truly saddened by Sonia's passing.  She was an amazing
Doula with a loving heart and an amazing love for life.   Her dedication and
compassion was a blessing for us on our long awaited arrival of our son.  We
will forever be grateful for all that she did. 

The last time I received an e-mail from Sonia she said that she was looking
forward to our second birth - We can't imagine the experience without her. 

Our thoughts and prayers are with you.
Love,
Rui, Lucilia & Xavier 

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Sonia, I wish so much that you could hear these words being said about you.  I pray that you can.  I love you.

Julia

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Blessings on you all to have grace and patience with yourselves as you grieve this loss.  Love surround you as Sonia's arms would have done and have done.  Light keep shining to chase the shadow of fear and to remind you of your way.  May memories comfort you ...  Sonia, we are so glad you were born.   
Love Dana
 

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What a truly wonderful and remarkable person. The world is a better place
for her having passed through. Even if she touched your life only
briefly, it was profoundly. Sonia was our doula for the birth of our
little boy Riley in January 2004. Sharing this life-altering experience
with Sonia was very special. Her practical humour and outlook on
childbirth and life in general was inspiring. And one thing no one who
met her could mistake, was her love for and pride in all three of her
boys: her husband and two sons. She could not have been happier than
sharing her life with them. She fondly told such warm, funny stories
about them. She made you want to be the kind of parent, and kind of
person she was. It is a special thing to meet and share even a tiny part
of your life with such a person, and for any of us lucky enough to have
shared greater moments or who had her as a friend we have truly shared an
extraordinary gift.
 
Thank you Sonia.
 
Andrea, Evan and Riley

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I also would like to pass on my condolences about Sonia's passing. By strange coincidence I was looking at your website when I heard on Q94 that she had passed away. I spent the last 1/2 hour reading all the wonderful things people have written about her and crying for someone I never even met. I'm sorry to all of you for your loss.

Alison Mintenko

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I just wanted you to know that I am thinking of you and praying that you
will all be able to endure the events of today.  It's amazing what God
puts inside of us for such times.  It's hard to imagine what Bairn and the boys
must be going through and yet, God has given the grace to be able to
withstand such loss and go on.  We are praying for them...please let them
know that.
I'll never forget how she helped me be there for Simeon's birth in such a
beautiful way.  She gave me a memory to cherish always.
Kelly Ethridge

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I am so sorry to have heard about Sonia.  It strikes deep to the core
when something like this happens.  It will affect the community in
ripples as the lives Sonia has affected are changed forever.
Again, I am sorry for you all having to cope with this trauma.  My
thoughts and prayers and energy are with you!

Warmest,
Jamie

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Sonia was passionate about breastfeeding and La Leche League friends and breastfeeding Mamas in the Interlake will miss her enthusiasm, energy, smile and loving help she freely offered. We will miss her.
Prayers go out to her family that the Lord will hold them close. I can picture her now in heaven giving God a bear hug before she runs to hold the babies that have gone up before us.

Patricia Falvo-Sawicki

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Only 2 months ago, did Sonia helped with the delivery of my first child, Lili.  Meeting Sonia was a gift in our lives.  I can still remember her voice, her sense of humor and the few moments we spent laughing...a lot, in our living room.  I tried to absorb the news of her death with peace but it is hard.  I know nothing can replace her but...

With every child she helped to put in this world, there is going to be a little bit of her surviving. When I see Lili, I will think of Sonia.
 
gen Murchison

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" Remember me in laughter, because that is how I will remember you. If
you can only remember me in tears, then don't remember me at all."

Thank you Sonia,
Love Tony and Jen

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Sonia  Lavictoire

~ Our Folk Festival Friend & Strength ~

It was only a week and a half ago when Rachel and I were in Winnipeg for a short visit over the holidays and heard from Michele that she was having all the friends over for a Christmas party...and she said “make sure to stop in because the folk fest crew will be there, and Bairn and Sonia would love to see you, and all the doulas will be there”.  We were so excited to see everyone in the "off season” or the “7 months till folk fest season"...

Upon arriving, we were greeted by Michele and Julia, and then Tara and Richard...we all found it funny that we were not in shorts and tank tops...as we usually are when we meet up annually for the Winnipeg Folk Festival.   

We all settled around the kitchen table as Michele's staff were turning up the volume on the Karaoke machine...and I remember the moment Sonia came in through the doorway...laughing hysterically at Michele's wild party and having found all the friends sitting around the table chatting.  She said her hellos and Happy Holidays and then turned her head and saw Rachel and I sitting at the end of the table.  Her smile was priceless...the smile I remember best...from ear to ear, sparkling, with those incredibly genuine blue eyes.  She said "Girls! what are you doing here! it's not folk fest yet!"

And then we hugged the ‘sonia style hug’.  It was like a bear hug, a real hug that told you she was happy to see you. 

Our short visit with Sonia was great, we laughed with her, we made folk fest plans, we heard about Bairn and the boys, and we joked around as she pulled out her Palm Pilot and scrap papers that had to be entered into her calendar.  She was laughing at how busy she has been and that she "could continue to chat as she entered the information".

The visit was too short, but amazingly perfect. 

Sonia was the matriarch.  The strong mother we all want to be one day.  The one who made you feel most comfortable.  The one who glowed at the sight of her family.  The best mom to have.  The best partner who had “one of those relationships”.  The great friend to sit around with (and enjoy martinis in the pouring rain – soaked to the bone, in bare feet, with mud up to the knees).  The one who encouraged her boys to join in with all the adults ‘jamming’ around the campfire.  The one we loved to bits… 

She trusted her friends, she loved her family, and she made all our Folk Fests and lives that much better.

We miss Sonia dearly and will carry on her greatness in all the years to come. 

Bairn, Everett and Oliver – we are incredibly sorry for your loss, you are ‘her guys’ and the sparkle in her eye.  We wish you strength and our compassion and friendship…and we look forward to carrying on our ‘family’ tradition this year (and all the next!) at the Folk Festival….in the back corner of the R.V. lot with the “crew.”

To the family and friends, let’s love her memories and carry on her being.  Today, and always, let’s love our Sonia 

Always,

Gina  & Rachel  

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I am deeply saddened by the passing of this beautiful and loving woman. Sonia passed briefly through my life and with profound impact. Sonia played a large part in the creating the doula I am today. She mentored me with her knowledge and skill. I feel honoured to have had Sonia as my teacher and my friend.

Her passing is a profound loss to her family, friends and life's work. I have a feeling though that Sonia's spirit and memory will inspire all sorts of positive change just as she did in life. Her memory lives on in all of us who loved her and learned from her optimistic and passionate grasp on life. Even in death she is teaching us important lessons.
 

As hard as it was saying goodbye to you today Sonia, I feel so blessed to have shared even a sliver of time in your life.
Tami Tozeland

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I was extremely shocked and sad to hear about Sonia's passing. I only met Sonia a few months ago as I began my journey as a Doula. I was lucky to have Sonia as a teacher, She gave me great advice when I needed it along with many laughs. I looked to Sonia as a role model,  she was very inspirational and as I read all the wonderful things written about her, she becomes an even bigger inspiration.

I was unable to attend her funeral as I was helping a wonderful family bring their beautiful new boy into this world, I am sure Sonia would have understood.

If there is any way I can be of any help to you at Birth Roots please let me know.
Amanda Roche

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I am absolutely heartbroken to hear about the loss of Sonia.  She taught our childbirth classes and she was an excellent teacher and a warm, wonderful person.  She was definitely one of the most influential people in helping us have an educated and positive birth experience.  Both Joel and I respected her very much. 

I would like to send my condolences to you and the Birthroots group as well as Sonia’s family.  I pray that you all be comforted and taken care of during this sad time. 

You are all in my heart and I will think of Sonia often.

Love, Eve

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My heart goes out to you. I can't stop thinking about what a wonderful woman Sonia was. She attended my son's November 25th birth and I couldn't have imagined this amazing experience without her in it.

Thank you Sonia from the bottom of my heart. You gave me more than you will ever realize.
Kimberley Slugoski

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When I gave birth to my daughter, I had a number of challenges. I had kidney failure and I was a single parent. I could barely move, and the best gift I received was the services of a postpartum doula. I hadn't met Sonia before but I adored her from the moment I saw her. I can't tell you how much I appreciated her warmth and kindness. She helped me by cuddling my baby while i had a warm shower, helping with dishes, and making me lunch. It doesn't seem like much when I say it now, but at the time, she was a godsend. More than anything I appreciated her sense of humour and her support as I mastered the somewhat challenging art of breastfeeding. Sonia helped me become the mama I wanted to be and she will be in my heart forever. The world is a better place because she was in it.

Love Janet, mother of Anna
 

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Everyone at Birthroots.  I have just heard about one of your Doula's Sonia and I was so saddened.  So I am sending you my deepest sympathy.  I have had some emails from her and was looking forward to maybe meeting her.  I am a doula with DONA and feel a loss for you, that someone so young and dedicated is taken from you in just one moment.  May all of you find peace and God Bless.
Shelley Schau CD(DONA)
 

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My heart goes out to Sonia's family and friends
tonight as I've first heard the terrible news.  We met
Sonia in 2002 when I was pregnant with our first.  She
wonderfully taught our prenatal classes and inspired
me to use a midwife and a doula which was everything
we hoped for.  She was passionate about childbirth and
educating all of us about pregnancy and our birth
choices.  She was a wonderfully warm and generous
person and I know anyone who knew her was deeply
affected by her love of life and childbirth.

Sincerely,
Katie, Jeff, Rylan and Ella

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Sonia
 

We will miss your smile, we will miss your voice. You were a truly amazing and genuine lady.
When Bairn called and told us the news we were devastated and in shock.

I believe you didn't leave us, but you are still here in Spirit and in our Hearts and will be here to watch over us.

After all that's what Angels do.

Bob &  I will always hold great memories of you in our hearts.
 

We love you and you will be greatly missed
 

Michelle, Bob & Kaitlynn
 

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