Birth Stories

Dear Charlie

The birth of Charles Markell Cory Moss

born to Markell & Sarah Moss on

January 7th, 2004 at 9:40 p.m.

at St. Boniface General Hospital

9 lbs, 9 oz, 22.5 inches

Attending: Midwives Sari Fogg & Abigail Tackie

Doula: Tara Laba

Dear Charlie,

I wanted to tell you about the day you, our little miracle, were born. We waited a long time for you!! I like to think that you loved being inside Mommy as much as I loved having you inside me, but there comes a time when even some good things must end. Our pregnancy was to end only to begin a new time of joy when we could get to know each other even better!

When we got to your due date, December 23, 2003, you were still happy in there and decided to wait longer before coming out and I was happy to let you!

On January 6th, 2004, our midwife, Sari Fogg, met us at the St. Boniface Hospital at 8:30 a.m. for a third Fetal Assessment, we got to see you and saw that you were doing fine in your little cocoon and then discussed what to do at that point because you were 14 days overdue.

Sari said she would need to consult with an obstetrician because of how late the pregnancy was going and asked if we wanted to be induced. She said that we could wait another two days because you looked to be doing fine, but as I had slipped and fell on my way downstairs on January 5th, I was worried that it might have hurt you or startled you so Daddy and I decided to be induced right away, even though we had wanted to wait for your timing. After deciding that, we went up to the Labour and Deliver unit of the St. Boniface Hospital to wait for Dr. McCarthy to consult with Sari. I was already 1 cm dilated, so we were able to receive a dose of the prostiglandin gel at about 10:00 a.m. We waited at the hospital for about half an hour and then they sent me home to rest but told me to return at 4:00 p.m. for a second dose.

Baby Charlie

Once we got home, I began feeling cramping, but no regular contractions. When we returned to the hospital at 4:00 p.m., I was uncomfortable, but not in labour. Sari came in and gave me the second dose of the gel and after waiting the pre-requisite half hour, they sent me home again. By the time we got home, I was feeling contractions as opposed to cramping, but still not labour. At 9:00 p.m. I was having contractions about 5 minutes apart so I decided to have a bath and call our doula, Tara Laba. She helped by timing the contractions over the phone (we hadn't timed them up to that point) and let me know that everything was okay. She asked if I wanted her to come over but we decided to let her get some sleep instead! Tara said to call when we wanted or needed her to come over. I also spoke with Sari who said the contractions were likely just a result of the gel and didn't think I was in labour quite yet.

We sent Daddy to bed on the couch downstairs because he was sick and he needed to rest up to have enough energy to help us get through labour and delivery later on! Grandma Bourdeau was here with us and she stayed with me all night!

After my bath I puttered around upstairs for a while and laid down for a while since I knew I needed to get some rest for the work ahead of us. Abigail Tackie, our other midwife, came to the house around 1:00 a.m. and checked me, at that time I had progressed to 2 cm dilated which made me feel better as I felt at least the contractions were working. Abi also said she could feel your head, which was neat. Abi left after that to get some rest and told me to call her whenever I needed her. I tried to get some sleep but whenever I fell asleep a contraction would wake me up and I found that they were more painful and harder to bear if it woke me out of sleep at the height of the contraction so I decided to get up again.

Around 3 or 4 in the morning, I started throwing up, which wasn't very fun! I threw up about 3 or 4 times, but finally stopped about 6:30 a.m.

Abi came back just before 8 a.m. to check me again and we had progressed to 3-4 cm! Yeah!! This meant that we wouldn't have to be put on the oxytocin IV! Abi called Sari to tell her how far dilated we were and that we had decided to go in to the hospital. We decided to go in at this point do so we could use the labour tubs at the St. Boniface Hospital. We told her we weren't quite ready and Sari said to take our time as there was no rush. We called Tara and told her the plan and asked her to meet us at the hospital.

We got to the St. Boniface General Hospital about 9:30 a.m. and were admitted to the Labour and Delivery Ward. Sari was there and waiting for us. Grandma and Grandpa Bourdeau stayed in the waiting room while we went onto the ward. While I changed into my bathing suit, Sari started a tub for us and after I had changed, she checked me and said I was still about 4 cm. She also put the monitor on to check your heart rate and my contractions and found everything to be good!

We went down to the tub room and I climbed in to the wonderfully warm water. Tara arrived shortly after we got to the tub room. Unfortunately, I did not find that it helped with the contractions very much so we did not stay long. During contractions I would hum or sing hymns to you to help me relax and focus. I sometimes made up my own little songs too.

After changing into dry clothes, we went for a walk down to the end of the ward to look out the window, which we had been told had a nice view - it overlooked a parking lot, but it was a good ruse to get me walking! We went back to the room where Sari checked us with the monitor again and found everything was fine.

The Birth Team

We sat for a while and at noon, Grandma came in to say Grandpa had gotten off to the airport with our friend, Sheryl Sokolies. Sari wants checked to see how we are progressing at 12:05 p.m. Unfortunately, we were still only 4 cm dilated so Sari recommended starting a syntocinon IV. I didn't like the idea, but knew that there wasn't much choice now, it was time for you to be born.

I asked for some Demerol at this time because I knew I was too tired for my body to work and I needed some rest! Sari checked with Dr. McCarthy who agreed with her about the IV and prescribed the requested Demerol. I chose Demerol because I knew it would wear off in about 4 hours so we would not be drugged when it came time for delivering you! I also knew Demerol would put me to sleep and that is what I needed!! Sure enough, shortly after receiving the Demerol, I fell asleep, only waking for the strongest of the contractions. At about 1 or 1:30, your Auntie Angela and cousin Jesse came by to say "hello", I only vaguely remember seeing them there!

I woke up about 2:30 p.m. and Sari turned up the syntocinon. My waters broke at 2:45 p.m. which was a good sign of progression! At 3:00 p.m., Sari checked me again and discovered that we were 7 cm dilated, 100% effaced at at -2 station. You were on your way! I went to sit in the bathroom for a while, and then moved to the birthing ball, leaning on Daddy for support. At around 4:40 I moved to the chair with Daddy being very supportive and helping me a lot through everything! I tried leaning on the bed at just after 5:00 p.m. and could really feel you pushing down. I was trying to not push because I know you weren't ready for that yet. Just before 6:00 p.m., Sari checked me again and let us know that I was 9.75 c.m. dilated with only a small lip that went away when I push.

I was still humming through contractions, although I couldn't always verbally manage it anymore, instead I sing more to myself and to you in my thoughts. I started pushing through contractions shortly after 6:00 which helps get through contractions better! We tried a number of different positions while pushing but found it easiest when I was side-lying or partially sitting up in bed.

Markell, Sarah & Charlie

Daddy was excellent help all through labour and delivery!! He made sure I had lots of water to drink and cooled my brow with a cold cloth between contractions because I was very hot!! He talked to me and encouraged me and kept telling me how much he loved me. You have a wonderful Daddy! Tara assisted all along by helping make sure Daddy and I were comfortable as well as videotaping off and on and taking photographs so we could have a visual record of your birth.

We kept pushing, and you were wiggling so much Sari could see your head move with each contraction! You were such a help for Mommy! Abi arrived at 9:23 p.m., just in time to watch you be born at 9:40 p.m.! Your umbilical cord was wrapped around your neck twice, so we had to pause for Sari to unwrap it and then with one more push both of your shoulders popped right out! Sari said you came out just like a little football player! I tore a little when your shoulders came out but it was very insignificant. I looked up at Daddy and asked him if you were Emily or Charlie and he told me you were Charlie. We both cried because we were so happy you were here!

Sari cut your cord immediately and rubbed you down to get you breathing. Abi whisked you over to the warmer to make sure you were all right and give you a bit of oxygen before they gave you to me. Your Apgar scores were 7 at first, but came up to 9 right away. I got to hold you within minutes, but it felt like a really long time! The whole world shrunk down to just you, me and Daddy. While Sari stitched my little tear, Abi cleaned you up a bit and then weighed you. You weighed in at 9 lbs, 9 oz and measured 22.5 inches long. You were perfect! When Abi gave you back to me, I put you to my breast and you latched on immediately as if you knew exactly what that was and had been waiting for it!

We had a great time getting to know you that evening and took lots of pictures! Grandma got to hold you for a little bit and then, just before midnight we tucked you into your bassinet for a good sleep and we both fell asleep almost right away, I was completely worn out! It was a wonderful day with the best ending ever! We are so glad to have you in our lives.

We love you Charles Markell Cory Moss.

Hugs and Kisses from your Mommy and Daddy

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Our Birth Story

Parents: Andrea Kowal and Evan Wilcosh

Doula: Sonia Lavictoire

The arrival of our first child, Riley Mitchell Wilcosh, on January 18, 2004.

Relief!

I was feeling very very very pregnant already in December 2003, so by our due date of January 10th, 2004 I was sick of waiting for the contractions to start. The baby was only a week "late" - I know they come on their own time, and due dates are not by any means set in stone - but why didn't he come earlier than predicted like so many do? We were so sick of everyone on the planet asking, "Haven't you had that baby yet?". Even while we were sitting in the waiting room at the obstetrician for our week 41 appointment we received a call on my husband's cell from Kelowna asking - "So?" We had already decided that we wouldn't even talk about inducement until at least week 42 and the doctor was fine with that, so all we were hoping for at the appointment was that the doctor might tell me that the nearly constant practice contractions that I had been having had maybe dilated my cervix a little. The doctor stripped the membranes during that appointment (Friday morning) giving us some hope that we might have the baby over the weekend.

No luck on Friday, but when I got out of bed on Saturday I knew that this was the day and told Evan so. So we decided to make a day of it. We went out for some shopping and a long 2-3 hour lunch. When we got home and I lay down for my nap at about 6PM the contractions started. Funny, but everyone tells you that you'll know when the contractions are "real" and you just don't believe it because some of the practice contractions are so intense. But it's true - you know. I continued resting until about 7:30PM when I figured I wasn't going to sleep anyway and a warm lavender bath would be just what I needed. When I came down and told Evan that labour had started about an hour and a half ago he was shocked that I hadn't told him right away. We started timing while in the tub, just to see where we were at, and even though the contractions were less than 3 minutes apart they weren't too intense and didn't last for more than 20 seconds. I was doing fine. After my bath I spoke to our doula, Sonia, to tell her to rest up because tonight was the night but that it was early going and we would call her in a bit when we needed her.

Evan Meets His Son

Well, within half an hour I couldn't stand it anymore. The pain was incredible and the contractions were continuing to come less than 3 minutes apart even though they weren't lasting longer than 30 seconds. The frequency and now the intensity were killing me, as I wasn't getting a break in between to catch my breath. My husband called Sonia and told her to head over, and that if we left for the hospital before she got here we would call her cell. My husband dressed me while I started getting into my groove as far as coping with the pain. We had soft candlelight and Bach playing in the living room so I was waiting in there when Sonia arrived at 10:30PM or so. Thank God for her. At that time I was so very ready to rush to the hospital. My greeting was "This really @#&! hurts." She nodded. She helped us stay at home, where I was so much more comfortable, for another three hours until the contractions lengthened to at least 40 seconds in duration. She was steady, calm, encouraging and enhanced my own ability to cope with the pain.

It was forty million degrees below zero that night. I can hardly believe that I actually remember the car ride and being admitted to Women's Hospital. I had absolutely no patience for the admittance process and triage, except that I was encouraged by being told that I was already 5 cm "and cooking". The rest of it all seems like such a blur. Although when I say, "Gee it didn't seem like 18 hours of labour", my husband looks me straight in the eye and says "Oh yes, it did."

Sonia was a rock, although not hard, solid but accommodating - sandstone. Like she helped us stay at home as long as possible, she helped us avoid any medical pain intervention until over three quarters of the way through. Evan said there is no way a husband can refuse his wife when she demands an epidural so he would look at Sonia and she would be right there to offer other options and support and encouragement for what how I was already coping. Our RN was also fabulous in this way; she respected our birth plan, and persistently encouraged options to an epidural. The one thing that really, really worked was warm water. Evan and I were in the shower for over an hour, with all of the warm therapeutic water running over me. I wasn't sharing a drop with Evan - I was in labour, damn it. He says that even though he rides his bike all winter, he has never been as cold as he was in that shower.

A Family is born!

By early morning I really, really could not take it anymore - transition time with contractions right on top of one another. I insisted on being prepped for an epidural. I agreed to try nitrous oxide first but it wasn't enough to get me through. When I was told I was 8 cm - to me it meant "only" 8 cm. I overrode all of my support team, Evan, Sonia and Sabina (RN,) and had them bring in the anaesthesiologist. One thing I have to discouragingly note was how keen on epidurals all the MDs were. I was seeing this option as a last resort and they all acted like, only a crazy woman wouldn't have one and only an idiot would wait as long as I did. I am so glad I hung on as long as I did - but couldn't have done so without my husband, doula and nurse. Because, by the time I had the epidural, it was almost time to push. So one of the things I was really afraid of - an epidural prolonging or stalling labour didn't happen. There was just enough time for a short break for Evan and Sonia to have breakfast.

Our new (shift change) RN, Sharon, was also fantastic. She too wholly respected our birth plan. So she cut the anaesthetic from the epidural by half so I could better feel the contractions to help with pushing. Two hours of pushing - again it didn't seem like two hours to me - to Oscar Lopez with everyone in the room dancing and smiling and joking the whole time. Staff were coming in an out of our room like it was the "dorm room" with the best party on the whole floor. Sharon had gone for a break but wanted to be called back for the birth so Sonia said, "Let's make it a short break" and we did. The OB/GYN didn't even make it. Riley Mitchell was delivered at 12:21P M Sunday January 18th 2004 - 18 hours after it all began - by Sharon, the nurse, and Ravi, the resident.

I had never felt really connected to Riley the whole time I was carrying him, but the second he came out I was so happy and so incredibly thrilled to meet him. Within 20 minutes I said out loud I would definitely have another one, making everyone laugh and say it must be some kind of record for a women having just given birth to say she'd do it all over again.

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My Birth Story

Xavier Cadieux

Born January 9, 2004

10 lbs 4 oz

My name is Heather, and this is my birth story:

I had been planning a home birth since day one. It took me awhile to convince Moe (my husband) that it was truly the way to go. He had some reservations, but after doing some reading, and after talking to our midwives, Gordana and Kelly, and our doula, Tara, he was reassured and in complete agreement. Sadly, I was not fated to have a home birth this time around....

At around 36 weeks, I tested positive for GBS (Group B streptococcus). That alone did not preclude me from having a home birth. Just altered the course of events. In the middle of the night on January 8th, I went for one of my nightly trips to the washroom. I discovered bloody show! "Interesting..." I thought. I knew that it wasn't a sure sign of labour, but I knew that my days of being pregnant were certainly numbered. I did not sleep well for the rest of the night. I felt the urge to go to the bathroom about every hour! Each time there was more and more show - the plug seemed to be disintegrating. I was a little excited, but reigned my feelings in.

During the early afternoon, I noticed a lot of clear "discharge". I didn't feel any sensation prior to this happening, so I was unsure if it was amniotic fluid or not. I waited a bit to see if it would stop or diminish. When I was still leaking a few hours later, I paged the midwives and Gordana, who was on call, responded. She came over to do a pH test to confirm that it was amniotic fluid. Wow!! I was definitely having the baby in the next 48 hours! I can't describe how many feelings I had. Mostly I felt a sense of surreal-ness...it was hard to process that the baby was for sure on the way.

My labour did not really get going. I began to have very mild, irregular contractions, but nothing really major. After Gordana did her assessment, I called Moe at work, and gave him an update. He came home shortly thereafter. We settled in to have our baby. I didn't want to set up the birth pool yet, but everything else was ready! We ate supper and watched a movie. Still my contractions were nothing to write home about.

Throughout the rest of the day and evening, we were in frequent contact with Gordana. Because I was GBS+, after 8 hours of the water breaking, the midwife must do a consult with an OB/GYN. Mercifully, the OB on call said that I could labour overnight to see what transpired. Gordana came over every 4 hours to administer IV antibiotics to reduce the possibility of a GBS transmission to the baby. So, I went all night with mild, irregular contractions. Every once in awhile, the contractions became more regular, but they always petered out. I was getting antsy, wanting labour to really get going to avoid the hospital. I was able to get a fair amount of sleep. And I did lots of praying - for a healthy baby, and to stay home.

Moe, Heather & Baby Xavier

At 6 am on January 9th, Gordana did another consult (as required). This time the OB/GYN on call advised that I come in for a non-stress test. I felt defeated, and really disappointed, but consoled myself with the fact that today was definitely baby day! Gordana told us that the hospital staff would probably push for an induction/augmentation since my membranes had ruptured for 18 hours with no baby being imminent. This was far from what I had envisioned. At least, we still hadn't bothered to set up the birth pool! Ha ha. Moe and I ran around trying to pack quickly; we didn't have any "hospital bags" ready.

At 8:30 we were en route to the hospital, when finally contractions started to kick in. Man, that was one car ride I don't care to repeat! My contractions were regular, and getting much stronger. I had to start using some coping techniques. We arrived at the hospital (Women's), and went to triage for the non-stress test. I was pretty uncomfortable on the monitor as contractions this time did not peter out. Baby was tolerating labour just fine, and all was well enough to get off the monitor. A resident and a doctor discussed induction/augmentation with us. They did an internal exam and discovered that I was 5 - 6 cm dilated! I was pretty impressed with that. I was now assigned my room (one of the "nice" ones), and prepared to have the another dose of antibiotics. We had called our doula Tara to come to the hospital.

The hospital staff was still recommending an augmentation (syntocinon) to get contractions in a regular pattern. This of course, eliminated my midwife as primary caregiver! Aargh!! At this point, about 10:30, my contractions were very regular (about 3-ish minutes apart) and strong. After Tara arrived, she and Moe discussed if an augmentation was really necessary. It didn't appear to be so. Moe asked the nurse if the augmentation could be cancelled, as it was clear I was in active labour. The nurse was in complete agreement with us (she was really nice the entire time she was with us - respected our wished on all counts), so she consulted with the doctor. Doctor agreed that I didn't need the syntocinon. Yay!!! I was so relieved, as that meant I would not have to be strapped to the monitor the entire time, practically confined to the bed!! So, the midwife was back on as primary caregiver. At this point I could have gone back home, but I was in too involved with labour to contemplate a change of venue - so hospital it was.

I spent a lot of time in the shower on the birth ball; Gordana arrived when I was in there. The shower was great! Moe was in there with me, and helped direct the water onto my back, as I had a LOT of back labour. I kept expecting to get the "excruciating" pain that most women speak of, but it didn't come. Yes, I was in pain, but I handled it well. Big thanks to Moe and Tara; who maintained the very necessary counter pressure. The baby was checked frequently and was great each time.

I spent lots of time side lying. And lots of throwing up! I usually hate barfing, but this time it felt good! I figure it happened at the peak of contractions. Ha ha. Finally, at 2:30 I was just about 10 cm. I had an anterior lip, so, with great difficulty I changed positions to get rid of it - I knelt on the bed and dangled over the back. Stayed there for what seemed like an hour. My legs were giving out; I was getting pretty tired at this point. (I checked with Tara's notes from the birth, and I was only over the end of the bed for about 10 minutes! Ha ha, I could have sworn it was an hour!) The lip was gone right away, but I stayed there to push for a bit.

At that point the urge to push wasn't overwhelming, but it felt good to do something different. This is where I kept saying that I couldn't go on. I was sick of working! I didn't contemplate drugs for pain relief, I just wanted labour to stop so I could rest; go home even. Gordana suggested the gas to take the edge off, but I didn't reply. It was too much effort to talk, but in my head I thought, "If I made it this far, why bother with the gas?" An immediate caesarean was starting to sound good however...at least that way it would be over! Ha ha.

Moe was an angel during all of labour. He kept cheering me on, and massaging/pressing on my back. It was wonderful having him take part in the birth. After pushing for a looooong time (total pushing was 2 1/2 hours), Gordana finally said that the head was visible. Birthing the head seemed to take an eternity! It was such a trip to feel it, both inside and out. I made sure that I felt it from the outside, and I could feel the baby move through my bones! So weird! After the head was out, Gordana discovered shoulder dystocia (stuck shoulders), so she kinda rotated/pulled him out, with her hands, not forceps (shudder!). Ta-daaaa! I looked down and announced the gender of our baby - a boy! Xavier Raymond Joseph Cadieux was born at 4:52 pm. 10 lbs 4 oz 22 1/2" long. Apgars were 8 and 9.

I held him on me immediately, and kept him there for about an hour, getting acquainted, and a feeding. What a miracle he was! I couldn't believe that he was finally here! Our very own baby at last! Praise God!

I was able to cut the cord. Moe didn't want to, but I'm glad. I really enjoyed the closure that I felt after severing the physical bond between Xavier and I. It really made my pregnancy seem over. The placenta came out shortly after - no problems. I had completely forgotten about it, so I was shocked when I felt more pressure after the Xavier was born. Ha ha ha!!! I ended up with a second-degree tear. I figure it was due to the dystocia. I was taking my time while Xavier‘s head was crowning, hoping to avoid a tear. A different nurse who had joined the room to assist with delivery was telling me to "just keep pushing". Whatever! I kept pushing when I felt like it, i.e. with contractions. Tara really helped to keep me focused during crowning. I kept listening to her instead of the nurse. I really think that I would have had an intact perineum, but when I heard about the shoulders, I knew he had to come out pretty quick, so I just gave 'er. Oh well.

We left as soon as we could. The midwife stayed for about 2-3 hours after he was born. Tara stayed only for about an hour as we were all doing really well. She was a solid presence during labour. She gave a quiet confidence in my ability to give birth, and helped Moe help me.

Anyways, the hospital didn't want us to leave for 3 reasons:

1) GBS+ (no big deal, I had the antibiotics, nothing else to do but wait)

2) Shoulder dystocia (he was in perfect health, again - no big deal)

3) Big baby=increased risk of hypoglycaemia=low blood sugar (frequent feedings are the best cure, and I had a midwife on call 24/7)

I won't tirade about the parade of staff that tried to scare us with risk factors into staying (that's a story for Moe to tell...). Suffice to say that we told them that had I been at home, we'd be dealing with the same things - big deal! None of the "issues" were life and death. I had to sign out A.M.A. (against medical advice). So, we left about 5 hours after his birth, and recovered very well at home :) :)

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Dee's Birth Story

A Doula Gives Birth!

Simeon Daniel, born at home, Dec 13th, 2003

After a nice relaxing evening at home on Friday, December 12th, 2003, Deyan & I went to bed. Deyan had written one of his last exams that day and was looking forward to a relaxing weekend. He had one more exam to write on Monday morning and a report due on Tuesday, but then he would be off for Christmas holidays. My 2 due dates were December 15th and December 19th.

At 4:20am, on Saturday, December 13th, I woke up to use the bathroom. (not an unusual occurrence at this stage in my pregnancy!) I noticed that I was having cramps, but I didn't think too much about it since I'd been having them off and on for the past couple of weeks. I climbed back into bed but couldn't sleep. I began to wonder if I might be in labour.

I told myself not to get excited and to try to ignore these cramps because they were probably nothing, and if they were something I shouldn't be giving them any attention yet. But after 1 hour of this, I knew something was different. The cramps were different and were coming in regular intervals. They began to be uncomfortable down low in my abdomen, unlike the practice contractions which had always been felt as a tightening high under my ribs.

~5:30am I woke Deyan up and told him I thought I might be in labour. He was excited and began to time these ‘cramps'. By now I was needing to breathe through them and finding it hard to get comfortable in any position. By 6am I was sure this was it. I still thought it might be early labour, even though these contractions were lasting more than 60 seconds and were coming every 3-4 minutes. I didn't want to get my hopes up yet and was reminding myself to stay open and relaxed.

I told Dey to call Beckie, our midwife, to give her the heads up. She could hear me working through a contraction and, after talking to me, decided she wanted to come over. She lives very close and said that if it was still early labour she'd just sleep in the spare room. So, that got us into gear.

We both got out of bed and started to clear off the bed in the spare room (which was still covered with books and other stuff). I also asked Deyan to change the shower curtains so we would have some plastic sheets to use for labour.

I called my mom in New Brunswick, knowing she would be disappointed that she couldn't be here (she would be arriving in 2 weeks), but also knowing that she would want to know. She asked me lots of questions, but I had to pause every couple of minutes to breathe through contractions. By now they were really grabbing my attention. I could no longer walk through them and had to kneel over the chair and put the phone down to concentrate on my breathing. This is when Beckie arrived.

Beckie could tell I was working hard and thought it sounded like this labour may go quicker than expected. She suggested I try the shower, which I readily agreed to. The warm water felt good on my back, but the contractions didn't ease at all. She brought me the birth ball and I knelt over that for awhile. Eventually I decided to get out and dry off. Meanwhile, she had called Cara (the 2nd midwife) and discovered that she was unavailable until after 1pm. So she called another midwife just in case because things seemed to be moving along quickly. She also told Dey to call our doulas, Tara, Sonia & Julia. Julia would be teaching a prenatal class that day, but would come over during her breaks.

Our doulas arrived at 8:15am and began to get the swimming pool blown up and filled. I laboured in my bedroom for awhile, alternating from my hands and knees, to kneeling over the birth ball, to lying on my side. I was a bit hungry and tried to eat some toast with jam. I was drinking juice and raspberry leaf tea and powerade. I wasn't able to eat very much, though. The contractions were strong and I was peeing regularly, hoping for a sign of bloody show.

I got into the pool at 10:20am. It was a bit cool because we'd run out of hot water, but the girls were boiling more and I was feeling rather warm anyway. Around 11am I vomited. I continued to feel nauseated throughout the labour, but this was the only time I actually got sick. I kept trying to drink for energy, but really water was the only thing that didn't make me feel sick. But I did listen to my doulas and midwife and took sips of other thing whenever they offered. I always wanted the bucket close by, though!

By 11:30am I was feeling discouraged that maybe there was no progress (still no sign of bloody show) and that I was just being wimpy and that this was still early labour. I expressed this to Beckie who reassured me that although it may take longer to show itself, progress would happen and I could do it. I got out of the pool and asked her to check me at 11:45, just to give me a boost. I was 5cm, my cervix was very stretchy and 100% effaced in the mid position, baby was low at 0 station and the bag of waters was bulging to +1! So, with that encouragement, I pressed on.

I was feeling a lot of pelvic pressure, but knew it wasn't the ‘pushing' kind. I liked it when Deyan rubbed my back. Sometimes one of the doulas would do this job if Dey needed a washroom or lunch break, but otherwise he did a lot of back rubbing! I got back into the pool at 12:25pm. This time I felt a lot of relief in the water and was able to rest really well in between contractions. I could feel the endorphins working! I stayed in for just over an hour before I had to get out and pee again. It hurt to pee, especially when the contraction would come while I was still on the pot. I kept breathing and moaning and blowing through each one (horse lips), reminding myself to stay loose and relaxed. (It's funny, but even now, less than 2 weeks later, I cannot remember the pain. I remember needing to breathe heavily and thinking ‘this one's almost done', but I don't remember what feeling I was having to cause me to do this.)

I laboured on my bed again for awhile and contractions continued to come every 2-3 minutes. I remember lying on my left side and when the contraction would come I would think: this position isn't working I need to change as soon as this one is over! The next thing I knew, I would be waking up to another contraction. I felt like I was on drugs or something! I would fall asleep so quickly at the end of a contraction that I didn't move! This went on for quite awhile I think. I expressed to Beckie, who was really present with me, ~3:30 that I was feeling tired and so much pressure. She reassured me that progress was happening in normal time. She checked me again (at my request) and said that I was 7-8cm. Well, realizing that I was entering transition, I thought I should just keep going, hoping my water would break soon.

I got back into the pool ~ 4:30pm and Beckie paged the second midwife Cara to come. I remember the pressure in my pelvis being so strong! It was very difficult to deal with both the pressure and the cervical stretching I was feeling. I think this is when I broke down and had a good cry. Then, I kept going. I reached inside to feel my cervix, but all I could feel was the bag of waters. Cara arrived at 5:30, just as I asked Beckie to check me again and possibly break my water. I was really feeling tired and was hoping to get a release from the pressure, at least until I was ready to push. So, I was 8-9cm and she broke my water - which was clear. There was lots of it! Unfortunately, though, it didn't relieve that pressure. I remember saying I just wanted to start pushing! I wasn't feeling the urge, I was just ready to be at that stage! I also remember saying how hard this was and that I didn't know if I could do it. I knew I could and that I didn't really have any choice either way, but I still needed to express these words to someone.

Ironically, I never once felt that I wanted drugs. I of course knew I couldn't have them unless I went to the hospital, which wasn't an option for me, but I still didn't even want them if they were available at home. All I wanted was for someone to take the pain away or do the work for me. Sounds funny, but that's really how I felt. I just wanted it to be done.

Deyan was very steadfast throughout this time, reassuring me and holding me whenever I needed him. I also remember at times wanting to cry "mommy". The words would form on my lips, but I didn't verbalize them knowing she would see the video and it would upset her that she wasn't here! I got back into the pool again. Sometime around 6pm, I had a contraction that wouldn't go away. It was odd, because I would feel the same ebbs and flows of cervical pain every 2-3 minutes, but in between my stomach would remain hard and painful. I tried different positions and breathing but nothing was working. This was very frustrating and I felt it wasn't normal, which was a bit scary. Beckie checked my vitals but all was well. Eventually (after some 10 or 15 minutes) things settled down again. Everyone thought my contractions had spaced out, but really I was just more relaxed through them. Thank God for those endorphins again!

By 6:20 I felt like trying to push. I did, and it didn't feel good or bad. I was nervous to push too early, especially if my cervix still hadn't finished dilating, so I didn't push with each contraction. I would push maybe once or twice every other contraction and breathe through the rest. The urge wasn't overwhelming, but there was definitely pressure there. Baby's heartbeat was great throughout the whole day. In the pool, I tried lying on my side, hands and knees, kneeling over the side, squatting, semi-sitting, standing, etc., but the position I liked the best, especially when I was pushing, was kneeling and sitting back almost on my heels with my knees far apart (pelvis open like a squat).

Beckie checked me in the pool at 7:30 to make sure the cervix was gone (the urge was still not overwhelming). It was and baby was nice and low (+2 station). I reached in after her and felt his head - my finger only went in until my knuckle so I knew he wasn't far. So, I continued pushing my way without any direction. The lights were dim. I know as things got more intense I would push hard and put my face in the water each time. I don't know why, it just felt like the right thing to do. Then I would blow my air out under water and come up for more. My hair kept falling into my face and Deyan or one of the doulas would wipe it away with a cool cloth. I also remember feeling hungry and asked for a mandarin orange.

I checked myself at 8:20pm and felt the baby had definitely moved down. By 8:30, you could see his head on the outside. So, I kept pushing! It still didn't feel as good as I thought it would. It hurt! I remember thinking as the contraction would begin that I didn't want to push and that I was too tired. Then I would remind myself how close I was to meeting my baby. I would tell myself that the only way I was going to be able to see him was to push. No one else could do this for me. So I would take a breathe and push. Sometimes I would have this same conversation with each contraction! I reached down and could feel lots of the baby's head presenting and thought that surely by the next push he would be crowning. This process continued for + 1 hour.

Beckie was a bit more hands-on at this point, trying to stretch my perineum as I pushed since it seemed so tight and I'd been pushing for so long with baby sitting right there. This burned! She said it was really tight but to keep pushing as hard as I could. There hadn't been much progress for ~ ½ hour. I had tried several positions, including the ones mentioned above, plus kneeling with one foot flat on the floor of the pool (alternating sides), and sitting on the birth stool in the tub. Finally, Beckie suggested I get out of the tub and try something different. I couldn't imagine what else I could try! I kept talking to the baby, telling him how tired mommy was and that I needed him to come out now. Beckie said maybe we could try the birth stool out of the tub. I didn't understand how this would make a difference, and said so. So she said maybe I could try on the bed. I remember thinking, "She must be crazy!" I stood up (not sure how I found the energy for this) and said, very intensely, "I have a friggen head between my legs, I can't walk to the bed!" I think everyone got a good chuckle out of that.

Realistically, Beckie knew I wouldn't make it to the bed, but thought the motion of getting out of the pool would release the baby's head. Instead, I grabbed hold of Deyan's arms (he was standing just outside the pool) and deep squatted into the water. I remember thinking, "I have to squat deep enough to cover his head, or not squat at all so that he is either born in or out of the water, not in between!" Apparently, I almost pulled Deyan into the pool with me!

That did it because with that push his forehead released. Beckie asked someone to switch places with Deyan because he wanted to catch the baby, but he said no. He knew that at that point I needed his support and that after such a long haul, he was happy for me that progress was happening and didn't want to make any sudden changes. On the next push, I felt a popping sensation and told everyone, saying that I hope it wasn't me tearing. But really, at that point, I just wanted him out and I figured I might need to tear a bit to get him there since I'd tried everything else possible! His nose and cheeks were next to be born. When Beckie said, "the head is out," I didn't feel intense relief. I continued to push, although a bit more gently, to release his shoulders which quickly followed. I then thought he was out and began to turn around when I felt his little feet inside me kicking his way out! It was 10:24pm! Beckie, who was hands-off as he was born, said that he actually paddled or swam his way out. She lifted him out of the water and I quickly turned around to grab him. I felt great!

She carefully placed him between my legs and I sat down so she could place him on my chest. He was gorgeous! So bright eyed. He didn't cry too much, but we rubbed him and he was breathing fine. He just kept looking around. I talked to him and so did his daddy. At 10:30, after peeking to see whether or not we had a boy or girl, Daddy introduced him to everyone: Simeon Daniel.

I stayed and cuddled with him until my placenta came out at 10:42pm. His cord was pulsing very strong the whole time! After this, Deyan took him to cut his cord at 10:48pm. I got out of the pool and walked to the bed, feeling elated and not too bad! I did feel some burning and was pretty sure I'd torn. After I got settled into bed with the baby and Deyan came in, everyone else left us alone and began to clean up. I did have a tear which the midwives sutured later that night as well as a skin split. To be honest, that skin split is what gave me the most trouble post-partum. It really burned when I voided and generally hurt for a couple of weeks! I used herbs in my peri bottle to help and took lots of baths.

Breastfeeding was also much more challenging than I expected. As a doula myself, I have assisted many of my clients and knew that there could be challenges to breastfeeding. But every time any of them had a problem it was related to either a poor latch or some kind of infection. I didn't have either of these, but I did have excruciating pain every time he latched and for the entire feeding! I would curl my toes and count to whatever, just trying to breathe, as tears streamed down my face. This lasted at this level of intensity for 2 weeks. It is now better and only hurts when he first latches and when my milk lets down. (He is almost 5 weeks old). I am hoping it will continue to improve as I have really looked forward to our breastfeeding relationship.

So, that's our story. By the way, did I mention that our son weighed 9lbs 2oz! No wonder he took so long to come out! We think he got stuck at the cheeks, they are so chubby! None of us expected him to be so big. I am 5'1" and weighed 7lbs 7oz at birth. My husband is average size now and was also just over 7lbs at birth. I gained just under 30lbs in pregnancy, and was only measuring 35cm the day before he was born at 39 weeks. We're still not sure where he was hiding!

Anyways, I feel great about my birth. It was hard work and tiring, but I did it and I would do it again. I remember crying out for God to help me at different times, and I believe He did. My husband was amazing, both physically and emotionally. My doulas had been such great support during the birth both for me (encouragement and hands-on help) and for my husband and midwives (making food, helping with set up and clean up, etc.) My midwives were great encouragers and a calming presence as well. Both Beckie and my doulas were also super helpful in the early postpartum period when I was having such a hard time! They called everyone they could think of and researched all the books to come up with ideas to help me. They also brought me herbs and food and stuff so I could rest and took calls from me at any time. Thank you Julia, Tara and Sonia, Beckie & Cara! I am so happy to be experiencing motherhood finally, after being around so many other wonderful moms!

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Kaedmyn's Birth Story

Kaedmyn Jaimie Lenise Roberts

3rd Daughter to Chad and Lexi Roberts

Birth Day: December 11th, 2003

Weighing: 9 lbs 6 oz

Born at home.

Chad and I were relaxing after getting the girls in bed on Wednesday night. We would normally have gone to church, but I was feeling sick and it was very, very cold out. Chad had taped The Thomas Crown Affair and was excited to watch it. During the first hour or so, I had one painful contraction and was surprised with the pain, as up until this point, the contractions I had were very tight and painless. I commented on it, not making a big deal out of it as Chad had been losing hope that we would ever have a baby - so was I.

Throughout the rest of the movie, I had the same type of contraction about every 20 min. We decided that we would call our midwife Beckie after one more contraction - about 10:00. Beckie sounded just about as excited as I was feeling - although I was still trying to hide it from Chad. Chad was doing a little dance and making a song up about the baby coming while I was talking to Beckie. She offered to come over right then and I told her not to worry about it because I didn't want to bug her if it was a false labour again. We agreed that I would call if things progressed. I went to bed and I didn't feel any more contractions; it looked as if things had stopped.

About 1:30 AM, I woke up groaning with a contraction. It wasn't too painful, but I guess my body thought it was and needed to make some noise. I waited for the next contraction; it was about 10 min later and just as strong. I didn't waste any time. I came downstairs to find Chad on the couch sleeping and he was up like a bullet as soon as he heard me "Baby?"

Beckie said she was on her way. I called Marci who was going to sleep in the spare room with the baby monitor incase the girls needed anything. While I waited for everyone, I had a shower and did a load of laundry. I wanted the machine empty for any linen we would use. I had some trouble in the shower and found it very uncomfortable. I got out quickly and started putting on a few lights including the Christmas tree. I wanted it to be cozy.

Marci arrived first and was very excited. I wanted her to be a part of things and she stayed out and talked with Chad and I. Chad sang her the song he had written for baby earlier while I had been on the phone with Beckie.

The midwife arrived and as usual was pretty relaxed. She took the time to just sit and talk for a few minutes (I swear she does that on purpose to try and get my blood pressure down) and then started checking my temperature, pulse, blood pressure and of course baby's heart rate. Everything was wonderful. She then took me upstairs and we checked my cervix. I was so pleased to hear I was 4 cm and fully effaced. I had been sitting at 2 cm and 50% for two weeks. I started to bleed a little after that- nothing big.

I told Chad to call our doulas Deanna and Julia. I suppose it is customary to call the doula first before the midwife. But my labours were usually so quick that we changed things around. While we waited, Beckie set up her stuff in the bedroom, Chad filled the pool and Marci and I talked. The contractions were about 5 min apart. I didn't really need to brace myself for them, but I had to find a comfortable position. Julia arrived first and by that time, the pool was filled and Beckie was done. She had called Cara who would come as the secondary midwife. I was so pleased that I didn't have to convince anyone that things were happening quickly. Everyone listened to me, took me seriously and respected my wishes - even Marci. Chad called Julia, my dear friend and told her to come - that baby was on its way.

The contractions started to get more painful and I was having to do a little bit of breathing and was having to brace myself. Cara came and she and Beckie went upstairs to set up two more things for baby. I went to the bathroom and on the way out had another contraction that I just laid on the floor for. Beckie was running in behind me every 30 min and checking the fetal heart rate. My friend Julia showed up and just slipped into the room quietly.

I sat on the couch again and all of us had a really good time, just talking and laughing. Everyone would keep silent during a contraction and then we would just continue on with our banter where we left off. Part of me was thinking about the verse in proverbs that says, "a cheerful heart is like medicine" - the other part was wondering what would happen to my couch if it got amniotic fluid on it HEH.

I decided it was time to go upstairs as the contractions were coming about every 2 min at that point. I had to breathe very hard to get through. I just continued to picture my body opening up, pictured the baby coming down and my little girl's faces when they would see their new best friend for the first time.

At this point I only remember what was happening inside of me. Everything else is very blurry as to who was in the room and what was being said. I was kind of scared to get in the pool. But told Chad to get his shorts on and to get in and that I would join him. He probably stood there for about ten minutes while I had continual contractions so heavy that I was starting to shake. Suddenly I felt the urge to push and was trying to decide whether it would be better to have someone pick me up and throw me in the water or take my shorts off HEH. I voted for the shorts. I don't know who got them off for me. But they were off and my baby was coming.

I lay on my side, as it was how I pushed our second daughter out. I felt my water break and asked what the colour was - it was clear. I felt Beckie quickly check my cervix and say "no cervix" and I felt a relief knowing that it was safe to push. I then felt the fetal heart monitor on my tummy again and heard Beckie say, "It's good."

I then started to have extreme pain in my back. It was beyond my storage of strength and I started to lose grip. I could feel myself raging with pain, but it was almost as if I was not there anymore. I started to groan and cry and tried to tell them that my back was in pain. Beckie suggested that I get into whatever position I wanted. I felt a hand in mine and wondered if it was Chad's. I couldn't see clearly anymore and just was thankful for the hand. I moved onto my back, began to push and felt the baby moving down. An intense wave of pain rolled through my lower back.

I pushed about three times and could feel that extreme pressure and intense pain in my perineum. I pushed again and felt such a relief when the head slid out. The shoulders were nowhere near as intense as the head. I could hear Beckie telling Chad how to manoeuvre the baby and realized that he had been the one delivering the baby. I felt him move the baby very much like I have seen in videos and with the last push, the baby came tumbling out and was placed on my tummy. Everyone was surprised to see that the baby had swum the cord in a perfect little knot. After that discussion, I heard Chad say, "It's a girl." I was still feeling very light headed from the pain and didn't naturally grab for the baby like I had done with Aidan. I finally reached for her when I felt her starting to slip and my hand met a little warm head - it was heavenly. I could see clearly again and heard them talking about cutting the cord. I had given specific instructions to Beckie and Cara that I did not want to see anything but the baby. But caught a glimpse of the cord as it was handed to Chad to cut. I must have looked about as sick as I felt and Julia (the doula) - who's hand I had been holding (I thought the hand was a little feminine to be Chad's) threw a cold cloth over my eyes.

The placenta came out with a breeze and although I didn't see it, I am told it was a substantial size, as was the cord. Marci came up and we all talked as I fed the baby - who was starving. It was a little disconcerting to be a raging lunatic one minute and then be having civilized conversation the next. We had talked about how I would feel if I had lost control during the birth and I had just joked that I had done it before - I would do it again. Ah well.

I spent the morning in a zombie like state as we cared for the girls and Kaedmyn. Finally it was naptime, and I lay down with Kaedmyn - but couldn't stop staring at her. I fed her and cuddled her and was absolutely taken with her. Sleep would have to be a second priority as staring at my baby became the priority. I woke up later on and had fallen asleep while feeding her. It was heaven - to say the least. It feels so amazing to not have left the house at all. Kaedmyn has never been anywhere else. As we began to call people and tell them that we had the baby at home - reactions were wonderful. We had kept things a secret to evade opinions. We knew what we wanted and that was all that mattered. I don't know if any of this will matter to Kaedmyn when she can understand. But friends and love, joy and peace surrounded her, as she came into the world. And I am so thankful for the opportunity I had to share those precious moments with everyone who I wanted to be there.

Lexi

December 12th 2004

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Lydia's Birth Story

Lydia Geeske Neudoerffer Venema

Born at home,

1 December 2003

2:17 am

8 lbs 10 oz, 21.25 inches

Parents: Cynthia Neudoerffer & Henry Venema

Midwives: Anessa Maize, Shelia Mills, Beckie Wood

Doula: Sonia Lavictoire

Early labour pangs started sometime in the wee hours of Sunday November 30th, I'm not sure exactly when, but by 5 or 6 am I definitely noticed feeling cramps, though no set pattern. By 7 am I decided that I was feeling something and couldn't really sleep anymore. Daddy and I got up and did our morning yoga routine, which for me by now was significantly altered, due to the big belly! We ate breakfast, read the paper, our usual Sunday-before-church routine, all the while noting that the cramps were continuing, coming maybe every 10 to 15 minutes, noticeable but not very intense.

We couldn't quite believe that labour might actually be starting today, on the 30th - which was the due date I had been given by my two ultrasounds! Could a child of ours actually be on time?

I was feeling a real mix of emotions, nervous, excited, scared, and uncertain. At this early point we didn't know whether this might be the real thing, false labour, or early labour that might continue at this pace for a day or more. We decided to follow the midwives' and doula's advice and try to ignore it for as long as possible. We decided to go to church, but we called Auntie Kathleen and Uncle Gareth to ask them to sit at the back of the church, not in our usual pew at the front, just in case I had to get up and move a bit during a contraction.

Lydia at 5 months old

The church service was very appropriate for a mother-in-labour. It was the first Sunday in Advent and the theme of the service was "Advent: a time of rest, restlessness & longing" and a lot of the imagery used by the minister, Bill Millar, during the sermon was about waiting, expecting, the new life and new light, just as Mary was at this time, waiting and expecting her little one, and about the ‘turning' the turning of the season from darkness into light, the turning and cycles of change in our lives. I felt very connected, as I could feel the ‘turning' starting to take hold in me and knew that in hours or days our lives would take a ‘great turn' into parenthood!

We stayed for coffee after church, but I was already starting to feel ‘anxious' to be home. Nonetheless, we did a few errands on the way home, stopped in at Vita Health and Safeway for some last minute groceries (chocolate!) and also rented 5 movies from Movie Village, with the intention of watching them to keep me occupied through early labour. (Never did watch them though!)

I guess we must have had lunch when we got home, but I don't remember eating anything! Daddy settled in to work on his thesis for the afternoon. At about 15:00 we decided I should lie down and try to sleep a little, to get some rest now while I could. Oma called while I was trying to sleep, Daddy didn't want to let on for certain that we were in labour, as we still weren't sure if it was going to progress or not, so he said that we ‘might' be in the early stages. I didn't talk to Oma, but got up soon after her call. I couldn't sleep; the contractions were too uncomfortable to try to sleep through. So I got up and decided to try painting my ‘labour images' - pictures that I hoped would help me get through labour - with slogans like "Stay Calm", "Open Down and Out", "Open to the Energy" and an image of the energy of the universe spiralling and passing through me to open me up to birth our baby. I managed to paint one "S" - I just couldn't focus and concentrate! At this point, maybe 16:00, I needed to walk through the contractions - and I chanted my Hindu Sivananda chants - "Jaya Ganesha" "Hari Krishna" "Govinda Jaya Jaya" while walking a circuit around the kitchen and dining room. Daddy was in the study working away on his thesis, and now he started timing the contractions.

By 17:00 the contractions started coming every 4 to 5 minutes and were lasting for a minute. Daddy timed them for the next hour and by 17:45 we decided to call Sonia, our Doula, and Anessa, our midwife-on-call.

This is where, in retrospect, I think I made a judgement error. Both asked if I wanted them to come now; I wasn't sure, I didn't want to have them here too early, but I was starting to feel a bit panicky, yet I said, ‘No, I was okay'. For some reason, I still didn't think that this was real labour and I was expecting it to stop or flatten out. I think the problem was that a big part of me didn't want labour to progress too quickly - because I really wanted the baby to be born in December! So I had this sense of trying to hold things back and not get into the flow of labour, because I was worried in the back of my mind that if I did that the baby would come on the 30th and I really wanted it to be born on the 1st!

The next 2 hours are a blur. Daddy and I pulled out all of the gear for the home birth, the clean sheets, the crock pot, the olive oil, the extra bed inflated in case it was a long night for the midwives and doula. I think because I was fighting labour a bit, I was very present for each contraction and had a difficult time focusing on anything but the pain. I know I was getting quite panicky and really wondering when Sonia and Anessa would arrive. At some point I had asked Daddy to phone Sonia again, to find out when she would arrive and whether I could go into the tub now. We got the okay for the tub, so we headed into the bathroom. Daddy filled the tub with hot water and I would lie down between contractions and then on hands and knees rock through the contraction.

Anessa and Sonia arrived together at about 20:30. I got out of the tub and into the living room so that Anessa could check my cervix and see how far along I was. I was only about 4-5 cm. I remember thinking, "That is not possible, I must be more! I don't know how much more I can take and I am only 4-5 cm!" Of course, Sonia reminded me that 5 cm is more than half way - but somehow it seemed so like I had so far to go still.

I got back into the tub and laboured there for several hours, lying down covered with a towel in between contractions. When I could feel each rush coming on I would holler for Daddy to quickly remove the towel - I just couldn't stand to have anything covering my back for one instant during a rush! During each rush, either Sonia or Daddy would compress my hips to help ease the pain. Daddy tried really hard to help me, but sometimes only Sonia's expert hands would do!

Sometime between 22:00 and 23:00 I got out of the tub and came into the living room for Anessa to check me again. This time I was about 8 cm. UGH! I remember thinking, "I just can't do this, it is too hard and it hurts too much, what the heck was I thinking ‘home birth' next time we're doing this in the hospital with drugs!"

From this point on I laboured in the living room. We put our yoga mats down on the carpet, covered these with a shower curtain and some sheets. I would rock on my hands and knees during a rush and then lie down on my side to rest in between. Daddy was always with me and would ‘spoon' me to comfort me as I rested.

Near midnight Anessa checked me again and I was finally pretty much fully dilated, however a little lip of cervix was still in the way. My waters still had not broken, so Anessa asked if I would like her to break them now. We asked whether there was any risk of slowing down labour at this point, and Anessa said, "No". So we decided she should do it and this way we could make sure that there was no meconium in the waters. I lay down on the living room floor and Anessa used an amni-hook to break my waters. What a relief when Anessa declared that the waters were clear!

I was back on my hands and knees during contractions. I remember at midnight, Daddy whispered in my ear "Rabbits", (a British tradition I learned from your Great-granddad Tom Barrett - for good luck the first word you utter on the first day of the month has to be "Rabbits") I thought to myself, "Oh what a relief, we have made it, now it is December and the baby can be born!"

Now that I was fully dilated, Anessa suggested a position change to the birth stool to keep the baby moving down. I found the birth stool quite comfortable, although the effect of gravity did make each rush incredibly intense. I rubbed my belly, using cornstarch to reduce the friction, during rushes to help push the baby down, or held onto the front handles.

I think it was on the birthing stool that I first felt the transition to pushing. All of a sudden the rushes changed and I would be hit by 2 or 3 waves of hugely intense energy and the desire to push. Each wave was so intense I felt as though I would throw up, yet never did. I pushed for a while on the birth stool, then on all fours, then on my knees leaning on Daddy who was sitting on the couch, then in the same position with my right knee up, back on the birthing stool, then back to leaning on Daddy on the couch. Finally, Anessa could see a patch of hair! With each push the patch would get bigger then recede back. In between each rush, Becky, the second midwife, would check the baby's heartbeat and each time it was strong and steady.

After a while, Anessa said that the head was no longer slipping back, I shifted around into a squatting position, in front of the couch with Daddy sitting behind me and me between his legs. I held Daddy's hands and squeezed with all my might through each push. Soon Anessa said the head had crowned, she asked if I wanted to touch the head, but I was too scared to touch it! Becky held the front hallway mirror so Daddy and I could see as you came out into the world. A few more pushes and suddenly "whosh" your head was out! Anessa checked around your neck for the cord, but it was okay. Daddy said the room felt electrified and he felt a really intense rush of energy as he held me during the very last push. Then all of a sudden "plop", there you were a long, red, round baby lying on the living room floor. Daddy exclaimed, "Look how long it is, this is a big bab!" Daddy said ‘baby' because he didn't know yet whether you were a boy or a girl!

After just one or two seconds, you let out a lusty, healthy cry to announce your presence in the world! Daddy was weeping with joy. I felt dazed and in a dream. I was too scared to pick you up; I just wanted to know if you were okay. I asked several times, "Is the baby okay? Is the baby okay?" Anessa reassured me that you were, and picked you up and put you in my arms. I held you and repeated, mesmerized by you already, "Hello little foot".

After a minute or so, it hit us to check whether you were a boy or a girl. We checked between your legs and exclaimed, "It's a girl!" Now we held you and said, "Hello Lydia!"

After a few more minutes, your cord had stopped pulsing, so it was time to cut it. We put you on the floor in front of me, Anessa clamped the cord, and together Daddy and I cut it; marking your transition from the womb to this world.

I held you again and we tried to breast feed, but I couldn't get you latched on right away. You nibbled a bit and nuzzled into my left breast.

Now I had to try to birth your placenta. Becky took you, weighed and measured you, wrapped you in several receiving blankets and gave you to Daddy to hold for the first time. I pushed, but the placenta did not seem to want to come out. Anessa had me shift to lying down on the floor again and I tried to push some more but no luck. I had torn when your head had come out, maybe because your little hand was right beside your face? So I was bleeding a bit. Becky gave me a shot of oxytocin in my leg and some black cohosh herbs to try to help my uterus contract, but still no placenta. Anessa gently tugged on the cord to try to dislodge the placenta - to no avail, in fact part of the cord snapped off. At this point, we started discussing transferring to the hospital. Anessa felt that the suturing would be better done by an ob-gyn as it was a bit of a complex tear. And now that the placenta did not seem to want to come out, Anessa suggested that we should go to the hospital to have it removed.

You were born at 2:17 am and we decided to transfer to the hospital about an hour later. Anessa called the ambulance and the hospital to let them know we were coming. The ambulance took about 20 or 30 minutes to arrive. I was lying on the living room floor and Daddy was cuddling with you. I have to admit, I was starting to be a little bit afraid, because I was starting to feel weak and faint. The ambulance came, and they loaded me up, Anessa held you in the back of the ambulance with me, and Daddy sat in front with the driver. It wasn't a real emergency, because the ambulance didn't put on the lights and sirens. In 10 - 15 minutes we arrived at St. Boniface hospital. I was wheeled directly into a waiting OR - I was feeling very faint at this point, and I was scared too. Poor Daddy - the last words I said to him before I went into the OR were "I don't want to die". Daddy cuddled you tight in his arms the whole time (2 hours) that I was in the operating room and he thinks that is when you bonded with him and his sweaty smell (he was still in the same t-shirt from the labour and birth). In the OR, I remember feeling a little like I was in the middle of a TV show - "ER" - especially when they ordered the "CBC and cross type" blood work … I was half expecting gorgeous "Dr. Luca" to walk in any minute! First they were going to give me a spinal anaesthesia, but I was starting to faint, so they gave me some oxygen and decided to give me a general anaesthesia. I vaguely remember them putting the mask on my face … the next thing I remember is waking up in the recovery room. Daddy was right beside me, and Anessa too. I was relieved to find out that I was okay. As I was coming around, Anessa latched you onto my left breast so you could have your first meal! I was very groggy, but you were strongly latched on and you nursed very well.

Anessa showed me your placenta - it was one of the strangest shaped placentas she and the doctor, Dr. Hooper, had ever seen. Attached to the main "blob" of the placenta, was a "T" with two nodules - one on each arm of the "T". The placenta was attached in all three spots (at the 2 nodules and the main placenta), so that seemed to be why my body couldn't manage to birth it on its own! We saved the placenta - it is in a container in the freezer - and we'll bury it and plant a tree over it at Pake and Beppe's in the spring. Anessa isn't sure why the two ultrasounds didn't show anything strange with the placenta.

A couple of people have suggested to Daddy and I that maybe I was originally carrying twins or even triplets - because I had had some bad bleeding at weeks 7 and 14 - 16 during my pregnancy. Maybe you are a real survivor and were the one who really wanted to be born to us!

From the recovery room, Daddy and I called Oma to tell her that she had a new granddaughter! We tried to call Auntie Sarah, but she had already left for work (it was around 8:00 am in Toronto). We then moved to the ward on the ‘high risk' side of St. Boniface Hospital … exactly where I had NOT wanted to end up! We were first in a room with four women - it was very cramped, because the regular ward was being renovated and so we were on a temporary ward on the 4th floor! Daddy called Pake and Beppe to tell them that they had a new granddaughter. Another strange thing is that Pake and Beppe had a message on their answering machine, from about 7:00 in the morning, the voice of an old woman with a definite Dutch accent, saying that she was holding the baby and that Cynthia (Mommy) was okay … we have no idea who left that message! Maybe it was your guardian angel!

Mommy & Lydia on Day 2

We spent the day in the ward; Beppe stayed with me and Pake took Daddy home so he could sleep for a while and have a shower, they returned at around 16:00. I don't remember much from that first day, I was groggy and weak from blood loss - I lost 1.7 l in total - and I couldn't get out of bed. I do remember the first time the nurse brought you to me to hold - it was sometime in the morning and it was the first time I was really awake. I held you next to me and nuzzled your little cheek and cried; I couldn't believe you were actually here and healthy and beautiful!

When Daddy returned, we decided to ask if it was possible to get a private room, and very fortunately one was just coming available later in the evening. Auntie Kathleen and Uncle Gareth arrived around 18:00 to see you. When they left at 19:00, we moved into the private room. This meant that Daddy could spend the night, so he went home with them to pick up extra clothes and some things for me, because we hadn't even packed a bag to bring to the hospital! He returned at about 8:30. The room was small, but it had its own bathroom and a pull out chair for Daddy to sleep on and room for your cart - so at least we could all be together. I had to ring for the nurse in the night every time you needed to eat, because I was still too weak to get out of bed on my own.

The next day Auntie Sandy came to meet you in the afternoon. The day passed again in a bit of a blur, I was feeling a bit better, because I was able to make it to the bathroom on my own - but I was pretty light-headed by the time I made it back to my bed! We decided to spend a second night - I didn't want to go home until I was strong enough to pick you up and carry you myself. In the evening of the second day, I managed to walk the length of the hallway - a big accomplishment!

In the morning of the third day, we decided I was strong enough to go home. Pake and Beppe came to help us take you home. We bundled you up in a sleeper, your cousin's Sophie's ‘going home from the hospital hat' and the pink and green baby blanket your Great-grandmother Dolly Barrett made (in her 90s) when I was a teenager - for me to have for my first baby, whenever she should be born, and home we went! Daddy stayed home from work that first week; your favourite place to sleep was nuzzled on his chest with your nose in his armpit! We love you our darling "little foot", we are so very glad that you have joined us on this journey and adventure together!

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Claire's Birth Story

The Birth of Claire Allegria Sutton

September 27, 2003

Mommy and Daddy had been talking about you for three years before you were actually born. We called you Moe, as in "Moe the Embryo."

On Sunday, January 26, 2003, Mommy got up at 6:00 in the morning to do a pregnancy test. When the test turned out to be positive, Mommy couldn't believe her eyes. She had to look at the test about five or six times before she could believe it. She went into the bedroom and asked Daddy whether he was awake. When Daddy mumbled that he was, Mommy told him "We have a Moe." Daddy couldn't believe it either but it sure woke him up in a hurry. Mommy and Daddy laid in bed for a couple of hours and talked about how exciting it was that you finally existed.

Beautiful Baby Claire

On March 19, 2003, when Mommy was about 12 weeks pregnant with you, Mommy and Daddy went to see the nurse-practitioner. She wanted to see if she could hear your heartbeat although she warned us that we probably wouldn't because you were "just a little guppy swimming around in there." So she put the Doppler on Mommy's tummy and we heard all kinds of swishing noises and then, finally, we heard this fast thump thump thump. The nurse's eyes opened wide and Mommy felt very excited because even though you were just a teeny-weeny embryo your heart was big enough to hear. After that, we called you the guppy for a while but mostly you were still Moe.

You were due on Sunday, September 28, 2003. On Wednesday, September 24, Mommy was at home alone when her water suddenly broke. Mommy was very excited because she knew that it meant that you would be born very soon. Mommy called our midwife, Cara McDonald, who said that she would come over. Mommy also called Daddy and told him that you were on your way and that he should come home. Cara came over and soon Daddy came home too. Mommy was having small, irregular contractions. Cara said that Mommy and Daddy should do things like go for a walk and drink red raspberry leaf tea in order for labour to become more regular. Mommy and Daddy watched a movie that night because they really couldn't concentrate on anything else. The next morning Cara came back and, because Mommy was still having only small(ish), irregular contractions she said that Mommy and Daddy had to go out and walk. So we did. We walked up and down Egerton Road talking about how exciting it was that you would be here soon. Unfortunately, you had decided that you were pretty comfortable inside Mommy and had no intention of moving. Cara visited again that evening, Thursday, and said that Mommy and Daddy could either go to the hospital that night and Mommy would get some medication to speed you up or we could wait until the morning and see what you decided to do.

The next morning, Friday, you still couldn't decide what you wanted to do. Mommy's contractions were stronger but they were still nowhere near as strong and regular as they needed to be for you to be born. Mommy and Daddy decided to go to Victoria Hospital. It was around lunchtime, so Daddy waited until Mommy was all settled in her room and then he decided to go get some lunch. Mommy was talking with Cara and that's when you decided you were ready! Mommy's contractions were only four minutes apart and they were getting a lot stronger. When Daddy came back he was very surprised. Mommy and Daddy and Cara sat in the room and talked and Daddy helped Mommy through the contractions by looking into her eyes, holding her hands, and breathing with her. Daddy also was responsible for wiping Mommy's forehead with a cold cloth and making sure that Mommy had lots to drink. At about 5:00pm, Cara checked Mommy and told her it was time for Mommy to get an epidural. Mommy was very relieved because she was very tired after having had contractions for two days. At about 7:30, the anesthesiologist came and gave Mommy an epidural which relieved all of the pain. Mommy and Daddy then tried to get some sleep although this was difficult.

Daddy's Little Girl

At about 3:00 am on Saturday, September 27, 2003, Mommy started to feel the urge to push and Daddy went to go call the nurse. The nurse called Cara who checked Mommy and said that it was time to start getting ready for you to be born. Mommy started pushing you out at 4:00am. Daddy sat beside her and held her hand and was a great support to Mommy, giving her lots of encouragement and telling her what a great job she was doing. When you were almost born, Daddy looked and said that he could see your hair. That was a surprise because Mommy and Daddy were both bald babies and expected that you would be too. Then out you popped at 5:18 am!!! Cara caught you and quickly gave Daddy the scissors so that he could cut your umbilical cord. Mommy was very anxious to know whether you were Claire Allegria or Alec Nicholas. Cara put you on Mommy's tummy and Daddy held on to you and told Mommy you were Claire. Mommy and Daddy talked to you for a while and then Cara had to take you to weigh you and examine you. Daddy went with you to get weighed and you were 7 pounds, 4 ounces and 21 inches long and you looked perfect. Cara wrapped you all up in a blanket and brought you back to Mommy. Mommy and Daddy were almost speechless they were so happy to see you.

You came home on Sunday, September 28, 2003. Grandma Diane came to visit you. She had wanted to come to the hospital because she was so excited to meet you but Mommy was too tired and you were sleeping after your big journey. Unfortunately, Grandpa Bill had a cold so it would have been unsafe for him to visit so he had to wait a whole week to see you. You went to visit Grandma Ann and Grandpa Dick at their house when you were only a few days old.

Daddy fell in love instantly and you had him wrapped around your little finger. The first three days that you were home Daddy carried you around almost the whole time just looking at you. Mommy had the big job of growing you in her tummy and Daddy had the equally big job of growing you in his heart. Mommy also fell in love with you and spent a lot of time just looking at you. She also felt very protective of you and suddenly understood a mother's urge to protect her young.

Welcome to the world Claire Allegria Sutton.

Mommy and Daddy love you very much and wonder how, out of all the babies in the world, we were lucky enough to get you.

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Magnus Was Born...

...on August 26th, 2003 after a drug-free labour

Hi All,

Magnus was born August 26th after a drug-free labour with a midwife at St. B. (Okay, I confess, I had a little gas at one point, but I found that it only served to muffle my screams!!)

Six months old... ...and having plenty of fun!!

I changed from an ob/gyn with whom I was extremely dissatisfied to a midwife at 30 weeks. I was extremely fortunate to have Gordana from Health Action Centre take me on, and from then on, I felt very positive and happy with my care - I'm a "relationship" person and I certainly got that with Gordana, for all her quirks. I was hell bent on an intervention-free labour - after making the switch from doc to midwife, I was determined that she would deliver the baby.

On Sunday, August 24th, at 3:30 a.m. or so, my water broke but I had no contractions until about 24 hours later (after Gordana stripped my membranes at home). My contractions were 5 minutes apart from beginning to end. I went to St. B at about noon on the 25th at about 5 cm and waited 3 hours in triage as they wouldn't admit me into an LDRP room until Gordana showed up. Once we got the room, I sat down on the bed and SPLASH! my water really broke (I guess part of the bag had broken, but being a first time mom, I thought it was the whole thing - little did I know it would fill my shoes!!)

From then on my contractions, although still 5 minutes apart, became much more intense and I entered "labour land" - I do remember many things about the next 14 hours pretty vivdly though: sobbing over the Nick Drake cd we were playing (it's pretty melancholy music, but in the middle of labour it seemed SO sad!); laughing in the middle of a contraction at the song on the radio called "How Long Has This Been Going On?" and Gordana looking at me like I had lost it; finally making some real progress after pushing for a couple of hours and thinking at 4 a.m. "This is it! The baby is going to be born!!" and thinking the same thing at 5 a.m., 6 a.m. and 7 a.m. as I became more and more exhausted.

Luckily, Gordana and the nurse who came in at about 4 a.m. when we all thought a delivery was imminent were very calm and quiet. I did my own pushing as I needed to- nobody shouting or yelling at me to PUSH!

Finally, Gordana called in Dr. Seager, who I remember very clearly saying one word: "Cut!" I had completely forgotten about episiotomy: I thought I was going to have to have a forceps delivery. I told Gordana it was okay and she made the cut, and BOOM (okay, not the right word...) Magnus' head was out. I remember waiting for a sec and then asking, "Can I push him out???" When he was born, the first person who said anything was Dr. S who exclaimed quite loudly, "It's a baby ... something" - I looked at my husband in a panic, who was a quiet and considerate support throughout, who told me that we had a boy. Thus Magnus was born - 7 lbs. 10 oz, 21 3/4 inches long.

I know this is practically a novel, but I just remembered that my mom phoned the room at about ten after 7 - about 5 minutes before the birth. I recall my husband saying, "Uh, it's not a good time right now!")

Anyway, that's my birth story - wow, it's practically as long as my labour was! Thanks for reading.

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"The Gang"
Clockwise: Mom Tina, Nurse, Baby Randi, Midwife Gordana, Doula Julia

Miranda's Birth Story

The birth story of our 2nd child, Miranda.

She was born April 8, 2003 at St. Boniface General Hospital, weighing 9lb 10oz.

Parents: Tina & Tim

Note: After having a c-section with Spencer, I wanted to have another baby so I could prove to myself that I could do it without a c-section. When I got pregnant with #2 shortly before Spencer's 1st birthday, I knew that I wanted to attempt a Vaginal Birth After C-Section (VBAC). And I was going to do it drug-free!

When I woke up at 8:30 AM on April 8, my throat was so sore and my body ached...which made sense as Spencer was getting over his cold. I must have caught it. I thought, "This would be a crappy day to have a baby."

I got up, had some toast and ovaltine, and read the paper. Around 11 AM, my stomach started to get a little upset and I felt nauseous. So I laid down on the couch. Spencer asked me to "Come play" but I really wasn't up to it, so he played on the floor next to me.

Around noon, I started to feel crampy. I had tested GBS+ at my 36 week appointment - which meant that I needed to have IV antibiotics in labour. To complicate things, I am allergic to penicillin which meant I had to take clindamyacin, which is administered 8 hours apart. So I was hoping for an 8 hour labour so I could get the required 2 doses. My midwife, Gordana, wanted me to call her as soon as I thought I might be in labour.

I then paged Julia, my doula. I told her that I might be in labour, but that I was going to go soak in a hot bath to see if the crampiness went away. I also called Tim and gave him a heads-up (he wisely decided to come home!). My mom made me a big bowl of noodle soup, just in case it was labour so I would have lots of energy!

I got in the tub around 1 PM. The contractions were about 3 minutes apart. Pain-wise, it did not feel bad at all - I even thought it might be false labour. Gordana got to our house around 2:15 PM. She gave me a quick internal exam and I was at 6 cm. We had agreed beforehand that I would labour at home until 6 or 7 cm - so off to the hospital we went!

Here are some belly pics that we took right before we left for the hospital. Yes, I am still smiling at this point!

We got to St. B's admitting desk around 3 PM. I said I was headed to Labour & Delivery. The admissions clerk asked if I was there for a fetal assessment or a scheduled c-section. I told them neither - I was in labour! I must not have looked like it.

We met Julia at L&D triage, where the nurse tried to start an IV for my antibiotics. I think she tried about 5 different veins and missed all of them! Gordana informed me that as per St. Boniface Hospital policy, I had to have the on-call OB examine me. The OB on-call was Dr. Taylor. She examined me, told me I was at 7-8 cm, said the baby was probably going to be around the same size as Spencer, and the baby was still high. So she urged me to consider going straight to a c-section. I said, "No, I want a trial of labour." I think she silently shook her head.

My nurse, Brenda, helped me get to my room. It was now about 4:15 PM. Dr. Taylor came in and told me that she would like to break my bag of waters to see if the baby would drop. She was already poised with her little hook!! I told her no. She took it in stride and told me that she had 2 c-sections to perform, but she would visit me afterwards.

So I laboured on, with Julia providing fluids, cold compresses and back and hip rubs, with Tim as back-up. I was pretty quiet and worked on relaxing between contractions. It was hard to relax with that !@#$% fetal monitor digging into my belly.

Around 6:30 PM, my bag of waters broke. Nurse Brenda remarked, "No wonder the baby was sitting so high!" as I continued to trickle. The good news was that I was at 10 cm with a tiny lip. Soon I felt the urge to push. This was by far the toughest part.

Finally, about 90 minutes (!!!) later, Miranda was born at 8:13 PM! We made sure Dr. Taylor was there to witness my successful VBAC! Just to rub it in a little ::big grin::

I stayed overnight in a cramped semi-private room. I couldn't wait to get out the next morning. Physically, I felt 100% better than I did with Spencer's c-section. So much so that I'm ready for #3! (as Tim gasps and faints dead on the floor)

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Paul'hiver's Birth Story

By his Maman, Noëlle LaFrenière

My son was born by cesarean delivery at 9:13 pm, February 27, 2003. The events leading up to his birth were emotionally charged, and for a lot of my pregnancy I felt pretty lost.

I have insulin-dependant diabetes, and have since I was 5 years old. When we got pregnant, there were some worries about how it would affect my body, and how it would affect our child. For the most part I was blissed out that I was finally pregnant, being a pregnancy junkie, and an aspiring doula, I was so excited to be having this experience for myself! The diabetes however presented more of a challenge than any aches, pains, or nausea (I had 2 days of feeling "off"!) would throughout the entire pregnancy.

I knew right away that I wanted a doula, and Sonia was the only person that came to my mind. I had met her six years earlier at our first doula training, and had felt a strong connection with her. Fortunately she was able to take me on, and did an amazing job supporting us throughout the pregnancy, delivery and post-partum. It took a while for my husband, Robert, to accept her as our support, and some Birth Roots Pre-natal Classes, but he got to know her well, and appreciated her greatly.

Because I was classified high-risk, I was going for weekly fetal assessments from my 30th week on. (Maybe earlier, I remember going to a lot of them!) Everything seemed to be going well until the 3rd assessment in a two week period, suggested that our baby was no longer thriving. I too seemed to be having more difficulty keeping my sugars balanced, and was having quite a few dangerous dips of low blood sugar. At this time too, I went from a glowing, happy maman, to looking really drawn and sick. I was exhausted, and couldn't really carry our baby any more.

The doctor that works in the fetal assessment department suggested that I see my doctor right away. Since I had an appointment with my endocrinologist, pretty much a standing weekly one, he said that was fine. She took one look at me, and asked if I would be ready to be admitted to the antepartum ward in the hospital that afternoon. I cried and said yes. Relief? Sorrow? Both, I'd say. I had wanted so much more for us, but I couldn't do it any more. My husband was tired of going to sleep scared he would have to fight me in the midst of a very dangerous low blood sugar in the night. It was time for someone else to look after us.

I spent Wednesday getting comfortable in the hospital, settling in for the long haul. I was only 34 weeks, so I thought they would stabilize me, give me gross hospital food in measly portions and I could just read or watch TV all day long. That wasn't to be. Over the course of that day and over night, I had more low blood sugars. The danger of a low blood sugar is that as your sugar is returning to normal, the baby is still low. It affects the baby for a way longer time period, and the risk of late pregnancy miscarriage because of this is extremely high for diabetic moms. On Thursday afternoon, they started making "suggestions", later they were trying harder to convince me to make a decision.

I tried to get a hold of my husband who was working three hours away that day, and told him, they wanted to do a C-section. I called Sonia, and the two of them arrived at the same time. I kept telling the doctors, "you can't do anything until my husband gets here!" I was fortunate that through this intense afternoon, my grandmother, who I am very close to, was with me.

I spoke with all the doctors, anesthesiologist, nurses prepped me. It was funny, I had just had a bikini wax the day before, there wasn't much to shave, but they did it anyway. Sonia stepped up and told the anesthesiologist that I wanted her there, and he said yes, that wouldn't be a problem. He was very nice, Dr. Peters. I don't know why I lost my voice that day, it was all so overwhelming, but I was so happy that I had Sonia's support. She helped make my experience a bit more "normal" and warm. This was still my baby's birthday!

They wheeled me to the operating room where I waited, alone, for my spinal. That was the worst part. I didn't know that I was going to be separated from my support people, even if just for half an hour. It was long, and I cried, silently. The surgical nurses noticed, and asked me if I was okay, I nodded, and said, "I just didn't think it was going to be this way."

The surgery itself wasn't bad. I was really cold. I didn't feel the "pressure" they tell you about, or pulling or anything. Rob was on my left side, Sonia was on my right. I could see something in the reflection of the light, but even though I'm the kind of person who watches a "Trauma" marathon, I didn't really want to see my own. Thinking back, I wish I had seen him come out. I think I had my eyes closed, praying for him to be okay.

Rob and Sonia watched him be born, they suctioned him, and he cried. Then everyone cried. Rob went with Paul'hiver, and Sonia supported me while I was being repaired.

In recovery, the nurse brought Paul'hiver to me, so I could try to nurse him. I became sick and threw up a bunch of times, finally at 4 in the morning, they took me to the wrong room and kicked Rob out. I was pretty upset, no baby, no husband, just give me some drugs. Early recovery was difficult, but the next morning, we started on an amazing journey of learning how to be parents of our beautiful boy.

Even though he was 34 weeks, he was reassessed at 36. His lungs were mature, and the only reflex he was a little slow on was the breathe-suck-swallow reflex. One doctor suggested to me that the fact my sugars were less than perfect actually spurred him to mature earlier. They kept him in the NICU for 10 days, to watch his weight gain, and teach him to drink at a bottle. The breastfeeding story is another 3 pages… (We did succeed though!)

My mother was my post-partum doula, she came into the city every day for a month once we finally got him home, and I wouldn't have survived the whole nursing-bottlefeeding-pumping experience without her.

My son is now 15 ½ months old and an absolute joy. Even though my experience was less than ideal, I feel fortunate that I am able to identify with women who have gone through the same thing, and can help those women who have fears about cesareans. Every birth I experience teaches me something. My son's birth taught me that it doesn't matter how they come so much as it matters who they are when they get here.

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Aidan-Julia's Birth Story

Aidan-Julia Thora Roberts

Born February 9th, 2002

Weighing 8 lbs. 4 oz.

We moved into a new house on a Thursday and I was very large and wasn't able to help unpack too much of the house. I tried to take it easy. When I went to the Dr that week, my blood pressure was higher than normal and he said that I was to stay in bed or I would have to go to the hospital and that I would have to be induced. I knew that I couldn't take it easy when I already had my first daughter Quinlan to take care of. I knew it wouldn't be long.

When I went back to see the Doctor four days later, the baby had dropped four centimeters in four days and I was one to two cm dilated already. My blood pressure was also up and because baby had dropped such a significant amount, I went in for a fetal assessment and that is when we found out that our baby was a girl. Aidan-Julia would be her name. After Julia Davison - her Godmother and Julia Jeremowich - a dear friend of ours. The baby's face was toward my side and the enormous pressure I had been feeling on the other side of my pelvis must have been her occipital bone.

We received a call shortly after the fetal assessment and were told to go into the hospital on Friday the 8th. That morning, I was frightened and lay in the bed hugging Quinlan and singing to her. I was so afraid because Quinlan's birth had been so horrible and I had also heard horror stories of tremendously painful contractions with induction. I prayed for Aidan-Julia with Quinlan and got ready to go.

When Chad and I got to the hospital at 9 o'clock, the nurses were very busy with a set of double twins and we had to wait until about 2 o'clock to talk to someone. I wanted to try to have the baby naturally - without medicine. The Doctor gave me some gel to help soften my cervix and Chad, my doula Deanna, Aidan-Julia and I started walking the halls. We walked up and down stairs and miles through corridors and I finally started having a few mild contractions; but no progress. We tried the birthing ball and nipple stimulation and nothing seemed to help. Deanna suggested sex. I wondered if she was crazy. My blood pressure was high enough. I didn't want to suddenly become a contortionist.

When 11 o'clock came around, we decided to rest and try again in the morning. Deanna went home and Chad and I had a little nap. We would try Pitocin (the drug for an induction) in the morning. So we rested and as soon as it was 7 o'clock, I was up and telling the nurse to get the medicine. I was dying to see the baby. We started the medicine around 8:30 and I started to have contractions right away. They were fairly easy and I did have to brace myself for them, but got through them just fine. Chad was there and he was helping by telling me when the contractions would end and start.

Chad was on the phone with My Mom when finally and during one of the contractions, I felt a little pop and a great deal of friction on my pelvic bone and my water had broken. I told him to get off the phone because I was scared. I had never felt my water break before.

The contractions started more heavily then, and we called Deanna to come back. When Deanna came in, her hands were nice and cool from outside and she rubbed my back and that felt very soothing. I was holding onto the side of the bed for the contractions and I closed my eyes and focused on getting through to the end. I thought at one point that I was going to break the arm right off the bed during a contraction. I didn't care very much at that point. I thought about the baby, my Aidan-Julia. I was so excited to see her and hold her and sing to her.

We had a very annoying nurse (to say the least). Despite the birth plan we had carefully put together, our wishes were not considered. Peg, the nurse bellowed at me through contractions and tried to convince me that medication was right for me.

I don't remember a lot of points in time throughout the next while, but I would guess it was around 11:00 am when I needed to push. The nurse came over when she realized I was bearing down and tried to convince me to roll onto my back for a quick check. I couldn't move because the pain was so great. I asked for the gas and was given it right away. It helped enough to get me onto my back and although light headed, I hear the nurse run to page my Doctor right away. Amazingly, our Doctor was on call and would deliver Aidan-Julia.

Dr Collister came and I began to push. The nurse insisted that I flip onto my back (despite the note in my birth plan that said I wanted to push in whatever position I felt comfortable in) and the doctor told her to leave me alone and allow me to push on my side. With three pushes, Aidan was out and on my chest and then cuddling beside me. She was gorgeous and I sang to her as I passed the placenta and the Dr and interns discussed stitching. She had some milk and then did a poop and went off to be weighed.

I started to hemorrhage at this point, and from what I understand it was significant. I heard the Dr call to the nurse to get the medicine I would need. I couldn't feel pain with it, so I didn't think it was that bad. But then I heard him call in a tone of voice I had never heard him use before and use the word ‘Stat'. Finally he gave up on the nurse who was doing who knows what and had to reach inside of me and pull a bunch of stuff out. I was given the medicine after that. I heard the Dr tell the nurse off and was glad in a way. She had been so irritating throughout the entire birth.

I remained on the medicine until later on around 9:00 when I demanded to go home. It was crowded, loud and nowhere for a mother who had just given birth to rest. Chad took me home and I started to finally bond with my precious Aidan-Julia.

Two days later, I was laying on the floor in severe pain with after-cramps - a uterine infection. They think it was possibly due to the fact that I had GBS and when the doctor reached inside of me to stop the hemorrhaging, the infection spread up into my uterus.

We went through a horrible time with medications and breastfeeding and found Mother Risk at Toronto Children's Hospital (416-813-6780) to be quite helpful. Deanna was also an amazing support postpartum while Aidan-Julia was not nursing well.

Aidan-Julia ended up nursing for 16 months and is now a big sister to Kaedmyn Jaimie Lenise. The one thing I have learned through the three births I have had so far is that hospitals are for sick people. My two hospital births instilled a great deal of unneeded fear and trepidation about birth. However I know the truth now, and will never be the same.

Thanks to Deanna, who gave me the greatest gift of all - knowledge.

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